| Lawyers jokes! | |
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Totiburgio REGULAR
Posts : 43 Join date : 2010-11-27
| Subject: Lawyers jokes! Sat Dec 11, 2010 2:09 pm | |
| A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!" | |
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Totiburgio REGULAR
Posts : 43 Join date : 2010-11-27
| Subject: Re: Lawyers jokes! Sat Dec 11, 2010 2:14 pm | |
| What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge. | |
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Aligator8841 LOYAL MEMBER
Posts : 139 Join date : 2010-12-07
| Subject: Re: Lawyers jokes! Sat Dec 11, 2010 2:18 pm | |
| this is a good 1 !!! Edit: both of them!
keep posting:P | |
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Ian Admin
Posts : 516 Join date : 2010-10-08 Age : 54 Location : United Kingdom
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Totiburgio REGULAR
Posts : 43 Join date : 2010-11-27
| Subject: Re: Lawyers jokes! Sat Dec 11, 2010 2:32 pm | |
| How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving. | |
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Totiburgio REGULAR
Posts : 43 Join date : 2010-11-27
| Subject: Re: Lawyers jokes! Sat Dec 11, 2010 2:32 pm | |
| A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer. "Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client. "Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!" "Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?" "Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?" | |
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Totiburgio REGULAR
Posts : 43 Join date : 2010-11-27
| Subject: Re: Lawyers jokes! Sat Dec 11, 2010 2:34 pm | |
| How do you tell if it is REALLY cold outside?
A lawyer has his hands in his own pockets
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Totiburgio REGULAR
Posts : 43 Join date : 2010-11-27
| Subject: Re: Lawyers jokes! Sat Dec 11, 2010 2:35 pm | |
| How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.
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Ian Admin
Posts : 516 Join date : 2010-10-08 Age : 54 Location : United Kingdom
| Subject: Re: Lawyers jokes! Sat Dec 11, 2010 4:15 pm | |
| Someone has a very worrying fascination with Lawyers LOL | |
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chemist Moderator
Posts : 367 Join date : 2010-10-14
| Subject: Re: Lawyers jokes! Sun Dec 12, 2010 11:14 am | |
| What's the difference between a lawyer and a sack of shit?
I don't know either, but tell me if you find out.
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Totiburgio REGULAR
Posts : 43 Join date : 2010-11-27
| Subject: Re: Lawyers jokes! Sun Dec 12, 2010 11:16 am | |
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| Lawyers jokes! | |
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